Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The adults are the big ones right?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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