As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
