I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
