Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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