There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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