Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
