a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
