how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
