sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
