For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
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can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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