Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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