Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
