Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
