So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Screwed.edu
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
