Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
