Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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