I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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