This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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