So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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