Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
