just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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