At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
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tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
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He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think your dad took our porno
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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