I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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