Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
