two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
