You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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