Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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