So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
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I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
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I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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