i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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