So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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