I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
