YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
