i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
