Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I looked at my own cervix.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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