She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
