Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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