i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
