I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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