textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize