I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
high people should be assigned attendants
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
