I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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