You made me cry and you don't even care
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
