My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
