I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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