Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
