The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
a search helicopter?!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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