She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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