walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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