he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
