I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize