I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
