other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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