omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
