I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
