is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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