I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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