I murdered the dance floor call the cops
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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