I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
