i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
