we're chasing vodka with high fives
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
