i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
