I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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