where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
