I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
