Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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